What If I Don't Have Enough Faith? (Part 11)

We’ve established that, if we believe in Jesus and ask Him for forgiveness, we will be saved and redeemed. We understand that someone who comes to Jesus for salvation has not actually blasphemed the Holy Spirit. And that should be the full stop, the long and the short of it, the end of the book, the end of the fears. But for me, it wasn’t. It’s great that those who come to Jesus in faith are saved - oh so very great! But if you’re like me, then the next question is, “Well, what if I don’t have real faith?”

James 2:19 says that even the demons believe that there is one God - and they tremble. Knowing that God exists will not bring salvation - only acceptance of His free gift of salvation and belief in His forgiveness will actually save us. 

That gets frightening when you’re doubting your salvation and hanging onto a thread of faith. Because if fearing having blasphemed the Holy Spirit causes me to doubt my salvation, I’m not trusting in Jesus as my Savior - and that is perhaps a scarier place to be than even what I had originally feared. Fearing lack of faith and doubting that I had sufficient belief (a sadly ironic state) ended up being a terrible nemesis to my joy in the Lord or any peace in my heart.

And then, I’d wonder if the fact that I was struggling to believe in God’s salvation for me was due to the fact that my heart really was hardened because I had actually blasphemed the Holy Spirit. It’s a vicious cycle.

Something that the Lord has taught me through that season of depression and anxiety is that faith is not as much of a feeling as it is a gift. And it’s a gift given by God to those who desire it, to those who are willing to ask Him for it. Sometimes, I only had enough faith to ask God to give me faith, just enough will to pray and ask God to change me so that I wouldn’t be afraid. But that desperate prayer was actually the outworking of faith itself - a faith that God was giving by even allowing me the grace to ask Him for faith!

There’s something extremely exciting in the gospels, one of the fundamental truths that fortify my security in Christ. It shows up in Matthew 7:7-11 and again in Luke 11:9-13. In Matthew, it says, 

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!”

This is amazing! If we ask God for something, He will not give us the opposite. Now, we have to pause and acknowledge the hopefully obvious caveat that the “good things” given to those who ask is not the new Corvette. But in the context of spiritual goodness, God is not going to refuse us. Asking for the Bread of Life, will not result in a stone of condemnation. Asking for nourishment will not end in a serpent (can you see the huge analogy there?)

But it gets even better because Luke gives further clarification to what Jesus was teaching:

“And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!”

Do you remember those “spot the difference” puzzles as a kid? I’m going to challenge you to read through the two parallel passages above and find the difference. Both are Scripture, both are infallible, but the second one clarifies the other. Matthew says, “how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!” Luke says, “how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!”

This is huge! If we ask God to give us His Holy Spirit, He is not going to say no. End of story. And since faith is a fruit of the Spirit, the key to asking God for faith, is actually to ask God for His Holy Spirit.

Now we need to pause and back up for a moment in regards to faith being a fruit of the Spirit. The list of the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians does not specifically mention faith. If you recall Sunday school days, you may know this verse by heart: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law” (Galatians 5:22-23).

So at first glance, faith is not in there and it almost seems like we’ve got to muster up the faith so we can get the Holy Spirit and then He will give us all these other lovely virtues. But what is the first virtue in this list? Love! If the fruit verse is familiar, then you probably have heard the love list too, the one in 1 Corinthians that is read at most Christian weddings. What is love?

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a).

So notice that two of love’s characteristics are to believe and to hope. Hebrews 11:1 explains, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”

So faith means to hope and to be convicted (convinced or to believe). So when the love list says that love hopes and believes, it’s saying that love has faith. If love is a fruit of the Holy Spirit, then since it encompasses faith, we can say that faith comes from the Holy Spirit as well. And since asking for the Holy Spirit is a genuine guaranteed answered prayer request, we never have to fear being unable to have enough faith to ask God for forgiveness.

I really desire that you can see the progression here:

Since God will answer my prayer for the Holy Spirit, I have guaranteed access to faith. Because God will answer a prayer of faith for salvation, I have guaranteed access to forgiveness of all sin. Because God will forgive me, I know that I must not have blasphemed the Holy Spirit.

Can you see that this whole thing begins and ends with the Holy Spirit? Genuinely asking God for His Holy Spirit is the antithesis of blaspheming Him! If you desire God, you are eligible for salvation. It’s that simple. It’s that sweet.

Sometimes, I tend to forget the sweetness and simplicity of the gospel. I recall one morning that I awoke particularly troubled with the fear that I was not a child of God. The Holy Spirit reminded me of the verse about God giving good things to those who ask Him. I was very encouraged, but oh how much more when I flipped open the devotional book I had been working through and saw it right there on the page! The very same Bible story but in another book! There was no doubt that God was indeed speaking to me, and oh what a gift it was to have such an obvious reminder! From then on, I began asking God for His Holy Spirit. And I know that the Holy Spirit never leaves believers, but I think that sometimes, I lose sight of Him.

So I specifically, because I know that I already am filled with His Holy Spirit, I ask God to increase my awareness of His Holy Spirit who already lives within me - and He does! Without fail, He does! With that reassurance, I also ask Him, “Give me as much confidence in my eternal salvation as is possible for a sinner saved by grace to have on this side of Heaven”. It’s been such a repeated prayer in the face of fear that I have it memorized and lift it up verbatim time and again. I have little doubt that I’ll pray it many, many times more before I see Jesus face to face.

But the loving Father that He is, God doesn’t mind. In fact, He loves it when we ask Him for His Holy Spirit and for faith. If we’re asking, He’s actually already answered our prayer, but ask it anyway for the peace it brings to you and the glory that it brings to God.

In this regard, I have also been deeply encouraged by maybe my favorite disciple. How do you choose a favorite, right? But I really like this one. 

There once was an apostle of Jesus, so courageous, that he left all he had ever known to follow Christ. Foxes had holes, birds had nests, but Jesus had no home and neither did this disciple. He was fearless, daring to go with Jesus wherever He went, even in the face of threat when the way to Bethany meant a possible stoning. (John 11:8-16)

He was a thinker, asking great questions and piecing together Jesus’ teachings until they were succinct in his mind. (John 14:4-6)

After Jesus died and rose, this disciple couldn’t contain his zest for the gospel. Taking Jesus literally about the whole “Judea, Samaria, and to the ends of the earth” thing, he got this crazy idea to up and go to where no one else thought of going.

Most traditions agree that he traveled as far as India, and perhaps even China too. You or I may not have heard much of his story, but Indian Christians actually talk about him quite a bit to this day (at least some of the ones I know). 

He was crazy (in a good way). What Jewish man in the 1st century would travel to India to share the gospel? - And then get himself killed? I mean, the whole concept is a bit of a mind bend. So yes, this disciple was one of the most faith-filled men in history, but you and I know him as “Doubting Thomas”. 

I wonder what Jesus must have thought when Thomas flat-out refused to believe that He had risen from the dead. Jesus had spelled things out extremely clearly to His disciples, telling them that He would be mistreated, killed, and then rise from the grave. No riddles now - this was extremely explicit intel. But Thomas chose to forget. He doubted. He questioned. He threw hope out the window. He denied his friends’ testimony. He made a sarcastic declaration against the resurrection of Jesus Christ. You or I might expect a more solemn warning or rebuke from Jesus. And I don’t actually think it is inappropriate for doubt to be met with a swift chastisement. Neither does the Lord, because He inspired the writing of Hebrews 4, and wow! If you ever are in need of a talking to from God about pitiful doubt, check out that chapter!

But do you notice how Jesus responded to Thomas? This is super important for us to grasp, because the guilt and shame of doubt often causes even more doubt about God’s ability to forgive and redeem doubt. And then we’re just sinning even more as we doubt about doubt. (That makes my brain hurt and it hurts God’s heart.)

Jesus didn’t yell at Thomas. He didn’t strike him. He didn’t even ignore him. He didn’t let the wound fester. He dealt with the situation. I think we all know this part of the story. Jesus holds out His hands and invites Thomas to touch them. He tells him to touch His side. He tells him to believe. And Thomas does. It’s about as simple as that, and Thomas was never the same. You can read the story in John 20:24-29.

Now Thomas really did mess up - and pretty badly actually. Denying the resurrection? That’s serious! Jesus could have looked at the doubting man and explained,

“Now you know exactly what you did. You doubted me. I told you I’d rise from the dead, but you didn’t believe. You are a failure. These other disciples didn’t ponder or wrestle with this truth. It’s such a simple concept: I said I’d rise, didn’t I? There’s something wrong with you. Your analytical brain is an obstacle for Me. You overthink things and are thus defective. And worse, are ineffective for ministry. If you can’t believe Me and what I said - or the testimony of other disciples, you’ll never have enough faith to share the gospel with people who hate you. Don’t you even want to believe Me or know Me? Forget about India! You blew it. You’ll never have enough faith to serve Me.”

But Jesus didn’t say that. And there’s a whole bunch of people who are sure thankful that He didn’t, myself included. Instead, when God thought about Thomas, knowing his future and the power of redemption, He saw something beautiful. Maybe something like,

“You are now forever a man of faith. You are going to do what none of the other men in this room are going to do. I am going to do the unthinkable and send you to India. Your witness to My resurrection is going to be so powerful, that many more people are going to, not physically see Me, and yet still be able to believe Me like you do now. They will see Me in your eyes and in your life. 2,000 years from now, the work I will do through you is still going to be having an effect on My church.

And you, dear man of faith, will never receive the glory for this power. In fact, a large part of My church will call you ‘Doubting Thomas’. But it will be evident that I worked through you and restored your faith. And then I will get all the glory.”

Thomas is one of my favorite Bible characters because I identify with his struggle of doubt - big time. Each day, I battle with foolish doubts. Some of us do not wrestle with truth to such a degree, but I tend to grossly overthink things. 

When doubts come into my mind, I hate the doubt and then I feel super guilty that it crossed my mind. And then I doubt that God can still use me or even forgive me for such doubt. And then I’m doubting forgiveness, and finally, I find myself weeping in prayer because I’m so sorry that my doubt is offending Jesus. And it’s kind of a relentless cycle. 

Perhaps that sounds silly to some of us, and indeed, that’s because those struggles are actually quite ridiculous when there’s such a simple and sweet solution. But I’m sure that each of us have ways in which we are tempted to doubt God. Maybe for some of us, the temptation is more circumstantial: is God really good when He lets pain into my life? Or maybe it is situational: is it really worth it to follow Jesus when it’s costing me this thing that I really think I need? Or maybe it is theological: have I committed a sin for which God will not forgive me? (Such as is the topic of this book.)

Here are some important things to remember when you face doubt.

1. Temptation to doubt is not actually doubt: thoughts will enter your mind, tempting you to doubt God, either His existence, identity, goodness, or power. Jesus was tempted to doubt God and He never sinned. Do not confuse temptation with transgression.

   2. God can and will forgive your doubt when you confess your sin and repent. When you come to Him in bitter tears, miserable at the thought that your            doubt has maligned His character, He will welcome and redeem you, time and again. He promised.

  3. Moments of doubt do not disqualify you from being used by God. If the disciple, known almost completely as “Doubting Thomas” for his moment of              intense failure was the one God chose to evangelize India (some major implications there), then don’t you ever buy into the lie that God can’t deal with         your doubt or work through You to accomplish His purposes.

  4. Faith is a gift from God. If you need it, you can’t look within yourself, and stir it up, and pull it out, and offer it to God as something you created. If you            long for faith, you have to ask Him for it. And oh how abundantly He loves to lavish faith on His people! Your desperation glorifies Him intensely and              He’s not about to miss out on an opportunity to display His greatness by answering the cry of your heart. Dear one, He will fill you with abundant faith.

  5. Your faith needs an application. Faith in faith is no faith at all. Place your faith in the promises of Scripture: all those verses you know, and the ones                you  don’t know yet. (But you will know them soon because you are excited to spend time digging deep into the Word of God as the Holy Spirit builds            your faith in His steadfast promises). God is for you. Be sure to place your faith in Him, not just in what He can do for you. And when that faith rises in           your soul, be swift to thank Him for it because it’s His gift to you.

So if you are a dear doubting disciple, and you think you’re kind of like Thomas, brace yourself, because God likes to do beautiful (and slightly crazy) things through His children who struggle with doubt. You know why? Because when a doubting disciple steps out in faith, it’s evident to everybody that God alone is the One who did that amazing thing! And isn’t that the heart of the gospel itself? Displaying what God alone did? Dare to trust God to restore and even increase your faith. He’s willing.

I love how patient God is when we doubt. I want to share a song with you from a song writer who I refer to as the “hippie theologian”. He’s a Bible story, testimony sharing, ballad expert kind of hippie. He even managed to write a catchy song about King Jehoshophat’s army. If that’s not a musical feat… 

His name is Don Franscisco, and here is his extremely honest take on the situation:

“Like a king who hides in shadows 

While a thief usurps his throne

You stumbled down through all your days 

Without direction.

 While the soldiers and the servants 

Who should be at your command

Are all abandoned to surrender and defection.

As the kingdom groans beneath the load,

Your feet go running down the road

In panic you've forgotten all I've told you.

If you'll just call you'd see Me there

At the very instant of your prayer

But you've bought a bill of goods the liar's sold you.

I have chosen you

There's no need to run away.

I have chosen you

Why do you doubt the words I say?

Through it all I've been right by your side.

Ask me and you will not be denied.

Like a slave who wears the collar 

Of a hard and cruel man

And is convinced that he deserves 

The treatment given.

Tortured to believing nothing's ever going to change

Till you've forgotten there was ever more to living.

But as you struggle with your load

The messengers come down the road

And the slaver flees in fear as he beholds them.

They break your chains and set you free

To stand amazed in liberty

And at last they give the word that God has told them.

I know the devil's cut you down 

And made you feel so small.

I've seen your desperation 

With your back against the wall.

But I'll still be here beside you 

Even if you've given in

Till you see My love for you 

Is all you need to win.

I have chosen you

And I will not turn you down.

I have chosen you

You were born to wear a crown.

I'll give you what you need to carry on

Till all that stands opposed to you is gone.

I have chosen you

There is no need to run away

I have chosen you

Why do you doubt the words I say

Through it all I've been right by your side.

Ask me now, you will not be denied.”

It takes courage to ask God for salvation if you are afraid of being denied, but when you realize that Jesus is calling you to ask Him, the fear really truly melts.

I think it’s interesting to ponder the difference between great faith and a great God. On the one hand, a great God deserves our great faith. On the other hand, great faith can only come from a great God. If anyone ever compliments you on having “great faith”, you can know that really, what they’re saying is that you have a great God, because great faith comes from Him. 

That quote I heard from a local pastor that I mentioned earlier really shines in this light: “It’s not the consistency. It’s not the intensity. It’s the object of our faith”. Since we serve a great God, even the smallest bit of faith is actually great because it’s placed in a Person of such great worth! So did Thomas have great faith when he evangelized in India? Absolutely! But not because He was great, but because God is great. In other words, the worth of your faith is based on the worth of God. The greatness of your faith is based on the greatness of God. The power of your faith is based on the power of God. Because faith comes from God. He will give you enough faith, indeed, more than enough!